


Everything Is Just White Noise But You

by Tea__Bee



Series: White Noise [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drinking, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Eddie rebelling, F/M, First Kiss, I have no idea where this came from except i saw stoner richie art on tumblr somewhere, M/M, Panic Attack, So sorry if its garbage lolol, The others are mostly just mentioned - Freeform, admitting feelings, college party, smoking weed, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 05:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea__Bee/pseuds/Tea__Bee
Summary: Eddie feels like rebelling, Richie is there to help.





	Everything Is Just White Noise But You

**Author's Note:**

> This came out of nowhere idk how good it is but I had to get it out. Hope you like it!
> 
> The title is a lyric from White Noise by Coasts!

A lot of things led to this night. Eddie Kaspbrak figured he was being a little dramatic when the thought of his  _ whole life _ leading to this night crossed his mind, but he figured technically it was true. The things that had directly led to this night were a little less dramatic;

  1. His mother had been pretty overbearing when he was a child, and because of this, he had never really tried… anything particularly_ fun._
  2. He'd gotten into a great school that also happened to be across the country from his hometown in Maine, so he'd been out from under his mother's thumb for the last year and a half.
  3. After behaving himself his freshman year of college and the first quarter of sophomore year, he realized he was still living like his mother could see his every move and judge him.
  4. He'd decided he wanted to rebel a little.
  5. And finally, last week, his roommate Ben had invited him to a party.

So here he was, at a party in a rented house off campus, alone and slightly tipsy off of one drink. Ben had ditched him nearly immediately after spotting his girlfriend, Bev, but Eddie could hardly blame him. Bev was a ton of fun, and Ben looked at her like she'd hung the moon. If he had someone who made him look like that, feel that way? He'd probably ditch himself, too. Especially since rebelling was turning out to be harder than he thought. He didn't want to do anything too crazy, but he wasn't sure how to find a safe middle ground. He figured having his first drink was a good start, now he just had to figure out a solid second step. 

Then he spotted Richie Tozier on the screened-in back porch, on a wicker couch with plush red cushions.

Richie was in a few of Eddie's classes last year, mainly General Ed stuff, and they saw each other on campus pretty frequently, as Richie just seemed to turn up everywhere Eddie went. They had one class together this year, and were friends with a lot of the same people, and Eddie liked him fine.

That was sort of a lie, actually.

Eddie didn't like Richie at all. At first. He was brash, arrogant, told really stupid and inappropriate and unfunny jokes, and just encompassed the chaos Eddie had spent most of his life trying to avoid. And then one day, almost at the end of freshman year, Richie had found Eddie in the stairwell of Eddie's dorm having a panic attack.

Richie had sat with him, quieter than Eddie had ever seen him, and  _ listened _ to him talk about how he didn't want to go home, he was afraid his mom would freak out over him being gone for so long and simply refuse to let him come back, his hair had gotten longer and she was bound to go on a rant about that, he didn't want to leave his new friends behind for his hometown, where he had basically no one, and he had come to the astounding realization that, despite his mother's protestations, he was definitely gay. 

It had all come out in a rush, none of it something he would have admitted to Richie of all people if he hadn't been emotionally compromised, but Richie hadn't cringed away from him, or made some stupid joke, he'd just listened, nodded, and put his arm around Eddie, pulled him snug against his side and let him cry on his shoulder for over half an hour. Then he'd sat with him in surprisingly comfortable silence for a while, both of them losing track of time as Eddie's breathing slowed, and his tears stopped, and Richie had pulled a scrap of paper out of his pocket, an old receipt from the convenience store a few blocks off campus, written his number on it, and told Eddie to call him if he wanted to talk, or if he needed to get away from his mom's over the summer, since they apparently only lived a few towns away from each other. Then he pressed a kiss to the top of Eddie's head, got up, and walked off into the night with Eddie staring at the back of his head in disbelief.

Summer had come and gone, Eddie had gone home, and he'd felt a little safer, braver even, knowing he had Richie's number in his wallet, though he had never actually used it. He rolled his eyes behind his mother's back when she lamented about him being too thin("aren't you eating at school? Maybe you shouldn't go back"), his hair being too long(he knew she would say something, but he made excuses every time she offered to take him to get it cut), and him no longer taking the meds she insisted he needed(he'd found out his first week of school from his new doctor that none of the meds his mother had given him were real, which was less of a surprise than it probably should have been). He told her no when she wanted him to do things he just didn't feel like doing. He knew that if things got to be too much, he had a way to get out, he had someone to talk to. He could just call Richie. He supposed he could call any of his friends, but Richie was closer, and he'd rather call him anyway, since he knew a bit more than Eddie had actually told anyone else, even if it was sort of by accident. 

He'd left for school at the end of the summer, and his mother had dropped him off at the airport, rather than insisting on seeing him through each step of check in and boarding. He'd gotten to school and moved his things into his and Ben's dorm, sending his mother only  _ one _ text, and he'd felt good. Ben had arrived the day after, and he and Bev and Eddie had had a movie night, after which Eddie quietly came out to them. He'd expected some discomfort, but they had just rounded on him and wrapped him up in a big hug between them and told him they were glad he trusted them. He felt more at home than he ever had. He'd gone on to tell the rest of his friends; Bill, who had been his lab partner freshman year, and his boyfriend Stan, over lunch one day, and his freshman roommate Mike while he was helping him move into his new dorm down the hall. All of his friends loved him for who he was, and who he was building himself to be every day. When Richie finally came back the day before classes started back up, all six of them helped him get his stuff unpacked in record time and then crammed into Mike's single and watched 80s movies all day. He and Richie had fought over the cozy blue fabric moon chair in the corner until they'd just ended up sitting together with their legs tangled and their shoulders pressed against each other. Richie's hand had settled on Eddie's left knee and Eddie didn't remember a single movie they'd watched that entire day. For the rest of first quarter, they ended up staying near each other every time the group hung out, and Richie had a habit of casually touching Eddie, in small, almost unnoticeable ways. On the small of his back as Richie walked behind him, running a hand down his arm when he walked up to say hi, nudging his foot under the table when they all went out for cheap chinese once a month. Eddie had become addicted to all of these quiet moments, gravitated toward Richie any time he saw him, but somehow they never seemed to end up alone together again after that moment in the stairwell. 

So seeing Richie alone on the porch, he stopped and took a deep breath, and another drink of whatever deceptively sweet concoction he'd gotten from Mike in the kitchen, and he took a chance. 

"Hey, Richie." He said, cursing his voice for cracking and betraying his nerves. 

Richie looked up at him and beamed. He loved Richie's smile. "Hey, there, Eds, how's the party going?"

"Uh, fine, I guess, but why aren't you… part of it? Seems sort of lonely out here." He sat on the edge of the couch.

"Not so lonely now." Richie commented, tilting his head at Eddie. "But, uh. No, I came out here because I like to smoke outside, but it's raining so. Covered porch." He reached over to the side table next to the couch and grabbed the joint Eddie hadn't noticed. "Do you mind? I can… I don't have to, if you'd be uncomfortable, I'd rather you stay." He realized Richie looked  _ nervous. _ He'd never seen Richie nervous before.

"It's fine. I'm actually sort of…" he thought about it for a second, looking down at his hands. "I'm rebelling tonight." He swished the liquid around in his cup before looking at Richie again. "I've never drank before," he laughed. "There's a lot of things I've never done before." Eddie saw Richie swallow and the tips of his ears go a little pink and felt a little surge of something that felt like power spark in his chest. 

"Would you- uh, would you want," Richie chuckled. "Sorry, I don't know why I can't seem to get a sentence out properly today, I usually talk so fucking much, you'd think I'd have it down by now. Uh, what I meant to say was, do you want a hit?" He gestured with the joint, before lighting it and taking a long pull, the red tip flaring as he breathed in. Eddie watched his chest rise, watched him hold his breath for several long moments, and finally exhale a long stream of smoke, tilting his head back so the plume rose straight up above him.

"I want… yeah. Yeah, sure." Eddie felt his fingers buzz, wanting to reach out. He leaned over and put his cup on the floor next to the couch where he wouldn't kick it.

Richie looked at him again, "I'm not pressuring you, you gotta be sure. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. We can just hang out, I like spending time with you, doesn't really matter what we do." He wasn't quite looking him in the eye, but Eddie didn't care, he just felt giddy and warm inside at his words. 

"I know. I want to." Eddie scooted closer to Richie and, feeling bold, reached out and put his hand on his knee. 

Richie took another hit, shorter and quicker this time, leaned forward after exhaling. "Okay, so you hold it, like this," he wrapped his hand around Eddie's and gave him the joint to hold between his finger and his thumb, which Eddie didn't think he'd needed to be shown, but he wasn't going to complain about Richie's large hands lingering on his own smaller one. "And then you'll inhale, hold it in your lungs for a bit, not enough that it's uncomfortable, just a little bit. And then you can exhale. It's not… that complicated I don't know why I'm explaining it like this," he laughed.

"Okay." Eddie put the joint to his lips and inhaled, and  _ immediately _ regretted it, sputtering out a coughing fit that had him wishing for his childhood inhaler. 

"Oh, fuck, shit," Richie took the joint from him and set it in the ashtray, then rubbed his hand up and down his back until he stopped coughing. "Hey, you okay?"

"I think I did it wrong?" Eddie giggled, taking a large swig of his drink before remembering it was sort of strong. "I don't… should I try again? I still want to, I just don't know how to do it without coughing. Is that stupid?"

"No, of course not. I didn't expect you to be perfect right away, I just didn't expect you to nearly cough yourself to death in front of me." He paused. "Hey, I have an idea how to make it easier, actually. Um. It'll sort of… mellow the smoke a bit. But it's… here, you'll have to get closer." He pulled at Eddie's arm, getting him to turn, and pulled his long legs up onto the couch so they were facing each other, knees touching. His hand lingered on Eddie's shoulder and he looked at him for a second and licked his lips before twisting around to grab the joint from the side table. "Okay so… I'm gonna take a hit, and then I'm gonna… um," he swallowed. "I'm gonna like, blow it into your mouth. It's not as strong, so it shouldn't make you cough. Okay?"

Eddie just nodded, unable to take his eyes off Richie's lips. All the sound from the party faded in the background as he focused.

Richie took a deep hit off the joint, the red-orange glow reflecting in his eyes, then leaned forward. He put the pad of his thumb on Eddie's chin, just below his lip, and Eddie realized he was supposed to open his mouth. He parted his lips and Richie opened his, stopping just short of their mouths touching before blowing the smoke into Eddie's lungs. Eddie breathed it in and he was right, it was much more mellowed. Eddie sighed as Richie pulled away, leaving just his thumb on Eddie's jaw. 

"How… how was that?" Richie was looking at him funny. He thought maybe he'd caught him looking at him this was before, but he could never be sure. 

He wrinkled his nose at Richie and smiled. "Definitely better." It was almost like kissing, he thought. He leaned his face into Richie's hand where he was still lightly holding his jaw. "I wanna do it again."

"Okay, yeah." Richie said quietly. He took another hit, slowly and without taking his eyes off Eddie, and leaned in again, his thumb pulling down Eddie's lower lip and making him gasp, his heart beating fast and hard as he reached out and cupped his hand on the back of Richie's neck, pulling him closer. He thought he heard Richie make some sort of noise, but his ears were ringing as their lips touched, just barely. He pulled the smoke in and lingered there until Richie pulled away slightly, but not very far. "Eddie, I…"

"Can I try now?" Richie nodded and Eddie felt brave, loosened by the alcohol and the smoke, but mostly by the very act of rebelling against how strict he'd been with himself all this time. He took a slow, smooth breath, and then pressed his lips to Richie's, his fingers curling in his hair. He felt Richie's hand slip to his shoulder then tighten around his bicep, and he pushed the smoke into Richie's mouth with a sigh and pulled back, smiling. 

Richie blinked his eyes open(Eddie wasn't sure when he'd closed them), and took the mostly finished joint from Eddie, putting it blindly in the tray again. "How do you feel, Eds?"

_ Like I want to kiss you for real. _ "Good. I feel… like I can do whatever I want. No one can tell me to do anything I don't want to anymore. I can do anything I like." Eddie grinned.

"You can." Richie smiled at him crookedly. "Do whatever you want."

"Can I…" Eddie chickened out mid-sentence, his bravery failing him without Richie touching his face anymore. "Nevermind."

"What? What do you want, Eddie? I need you to tell me." He looked at Eddie the way he had before, eyes wide and sincere.

"I want to kiss you." Eddie whispered.

A smile broke over Richie's face like a wave. "Thank fuck," and he pulled Eddie almost into his lap, kissing him. It was almost like before, and nothing like it at all. Richie's lips were soft on his, but they moved smoothly, coaxing him to gasp. There hadn't been tongue involved before, but they slid together like it was natural. Eddie bunched a fistful of Richie's shirt in his right hand, by his ribs, and curled his other hand into Richie's hair. Richie's hand was on the small of his back, keeping him steady, pulling him closer, his other hand running down his arm. Eddie tightened his grip on Richie's hair when he bit down lightly on Eddie's bottom lip and he felt a low rumbling sound vibrating in Richie's chest, barely making a sound by the time it reached his mouth. 

They pulled away, breathing hard, and started to laugh. 

"Why didn't we do this before?" Richie whispered, pressing his forehead to Eddie's.

"I didn't know you wanted to? God, I did, though." Eddie giggled, sitting up and reaching to pick up his drink.

"Eds, why do you think I keep reaching out like I do? I want to hold your hand or put my arm around you whenever you get close enough, I just didn't want to freak you out!" Richie ran his hands through his own hair, laughing at himself. "I… look, I don't want to mess things up by getting serious all the sudden, but I don't want this to be just this once. Not the smoking, I don't care about that, but you and me. I like you, a lot, and I've been trying to tell you, and I figure now… now is better than later, right?" 

Eddie was stunned silent, and realized after a moment that Richie hadn't looked back up at him, and was getting paler every second he didn't say anything back. "Richie… of course. I didn't just kiss you because I felt rebellious tonight, I told you, I've wanted to do this for… like, months. I got home from school last summer and you were all I thought about. Every time my mom started to try to rope me back in, I just," he fished in his pocket for his wallet, "I thought about you." He pulled out the neatly folded receipt with Richie's number on it and showed it to him.

Richie took it from him gently, and looked up, "Why didn't you use it? I was really hoping you'd call, or maybe text at least. And why," he started to smile again. "Why do you still have this in your wallet? You have my number in your phone, I gave it to you when we all started the group chat!" 

"Because, it… you made me braver. I wanted to keep you close. I-" Eddie was cut off as Richie leaned forward and kissed him, softer, tamer, but with more feeling than before. He tangled their fingers together in his lap as he spoke again. "Richie, I don't want this to just be tonight, either. I want… I want to hold your hand when we're walking around campus, and I want to cuddle on that stupid moon chair we always fight over at Mike's on movie night. I want to date you. I want this to be real."

"I never really cared that much about sitting on the moon chair after that first time, I just knew you wouldn't give up and we'd end up sitting together." Richie's smile was softer, and he fiddled with his glasses nervously. "I want that, too. I want to date you. And maybe this summer, we can spend some time at my place, you could meet… my parents. I didn't shut up about you all summer, they think I'm an idiot for not just asking you out already." He rushed all the words out and then stopped abruptly, like he'd said too much. "Shit, it's sort of early for those kinds of plans, huh? Um, sorry. I just… I really fucking like you, Eddie Kaspbrak."

"I'd like that," Eddie said, and Richie lit up the night with his smile. "I really like you, too, Richie Tozier," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed his smiling mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are loved and appreciated! Please reach out and let me know what you thought!
> 
> You can also find me at @afoolforsure on twitter, I'll be posting stuff about upcoming projects there, feel free to reach out!
> 
> Bee


End file.
